Feedback

I just got the feedback from my essay draft and it was very useful. I made my draft by piecing together my research and arranging it into a format that I thought made sense. I then deleted certain sections of the text then added in paragraphs to connect the various elements. I need to go back to the beginning and build my essay based around a  more specific subject. I refined my essay as I went along in my research but have not changed the format of my essay enough so it is still too broad. I am going to start by writing my refined question and deciding which of areas relate to the question. I have relied too much on quotes from writers in areas of my essay and need to find more theorists. I need to make sure I provide arguments and counter arguments for each theory I include. I want to focus the impact fiction effect on empathy. At the moment it makes up the final part of my essay but I would like to refine my question to focus on this aspect. I have chosen to concentrate o9n this because I found it the most interesting and beneficial to my practice and there has been a lot of recent research into the subject. I have found a recent study that suggests empathy is not as beneficial as previous research suggests. This research could provide a useful counter argument to the rest of my research. I think that empathy's effect on society is relevant given current political changes in the UK and the US.